Like a bag of snakes
Last night my sweet baby decided it was high time to torture his poor mom. I had just gotten settled into bed after a long day and I could almost smell all the food I was surely going to dream about. Then…WHAM! Baby launched into an all out war with my bladder. His previous little thumps and kicks were cute. This, however, was not so cute. In fact, it downright hurt. I woke up and was now wide awake. Surely I imagined it? KICK. Guess not. I rolled onto my back and stared down in disbelief. I’m not kidding you, it looked like a bag of snakes in my belly with all the pokes and movements you could see. I decided to have a conversation with this kid, hoping dearly that I could reason with him. It went something like this:
Me: Hey, you, what in the world are you doing?
Baby: KICK, THUMP
Me: Ok seriously, I’m really tired and would absolutely love to go to sleep. How about we make a deal…
Baby: Roll, KICK, punch
Me: No really, hear me out…if you can chill for a few hours and let mom sleep, I’ll get up at midnight at give you some orange juice…wouldn’t you like that?
Baby: KICK, punch, (beats on bladder)
Me: OUCH! Fine I’ll just poke you back…(pokes belly)
Baby: (Kicks back, with a courtesy jab to the bladder)
Me: Yeow! You win
…and so our night began