Just another mom blog…

For this child, I have prayed. (Samuel 1:27)

Archive for the month “September, 2009”

Attachment Parenting & Morning Sickness

My morning sickness is back. Ugh.  I read online that the hormones responsible for softening the cervix for labor/birth can bring on nausea and vomiting again in the 3rd trimester.  This would certainly explain the…um…”pains down there.” Good to know things are working normally.

I feel like I am back in my 1st trimester again.  I did mention to my OB’s nurse last week that I’ve been having trouble eating and drinking due to nausea, but at the time it wasn’t bad enough to warrant intervention.  Since then, it’s steadily gotten worse to the point that I pretty much stay nauseaus and now I am vomiting several times a day/night.  Its miserable.  I hope the medicine will help calm the morning sickness.

Attachment Parenting: an anti-Baby Training approach

I’ve been hearing all sorts of advice about how to care for baby.  The one thing I don’t want to do is “baby training” where you train the baby to make his behavior and needs more convenient for us adults.  For example, you schedule feedings, let them ‘cry it out’, and limit carrying or engaging with them for fear of spoiling them.  You can effectively train the baby to lay there in his crib in his own filth, feeling hungry or scared, and they won’t cry because they know their cries will be ignored until the schedule dictates that its time for them to be changed/fed/comforted. Sure these babies appear to be a “good baby,” but its because they know it is pointless to depend on the very people who brought him into this world to meet his needs and take care of him.  Its awful. I want to know how “baby training” is anything less than selfish on parents’ behalf.

In a lot of other cultures, babies’ needs are immediately met on their earliest cues.  They are breastfed promptly, usually they are co-sleepers or their moms practice baby-wearing.  These babies are not “spoiled” but are actually quieter and thrive because their needs are being met.  I just can’t think of anything worse than being completely helpless and depending on others who ignore you because it’s more convenient for them. Caring for a baby is not meant to be convenient.  I want my son to feel safe, secure, and that I will always be there for him whenever he needs me. This means responding to his cries, feeding him on cue and not by a clock, and being fully engaged with him whenever possible.  The commitment to provide for their needs (emotional, physical, mental) comes with the territory when you made the decision to bring them into the world.  Babies aren’t the ones who need training, the parents do. GRRR!

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Daddy Vs. Car Seat

C installed the car seat last night and he couldn’t have been more proud of it.   He somehow made sense of the car seat’s manual and got the thing put in correctly. Seriously- I think the “Surgical guide to performing a double-lung transplant” is probably less complicated than the manual this thing came with.  If that wasn’t complicated enough, they printed the manual in 0.05 font just to be sure that they succeed in giving us a headache.  Nevertheless, he did the job in a impressively short amount of time.  We are still going to have the fire department take a look at the installation just for peace of mind.

Daddy vs. "The Seat"

Daddy vs. "The Seat"

Top surprises I found during pregnancy

Now that I am nearing the end of my pregnancy, I thought I’d take a moment to reflect on all of the surprises I found during my pregnancy:

  • Hot flashes: I found myself standing outside in a t-shirt and shorts in 30-degree weather many a night in my 1st trimester.  This is coming from a girl who normally freezes at room temperature.
  • Pregnancy vision: One trip out to the golf course confirmed that pregnancy does indeed reduce your vision significantly thanks to fluid retention. I still owe C a new pack of golf balls to replace the ones I lost.
  • Nails! For the first time in my life these things are finally worth something. Same thing goes for the boobs.
  • The 6th month “pop” phenomenon.  I spent the first 5 months searching in vain for any sign of a baby bump.  Then it seems I miraculously sprouted my bump overnight in the 6th month.
  • Boobs! There’s a lot I can say about these 2 girls of mine, but the major surprise is just how early they started to become…um…functional.  (Think 16-weeks).  Nice.
  • Third trimester hips. Feels like I have 2 giant bruises to sleep on every night.
  • Speaking of nights, I feel boarder-line nocturnal.  Bathroom breaks, nighttime eating, really strange dreams, position changes, hot flashes…it is safe to say that the moon and I have become very best friends.
  • Blue veins: My body is practically a road map of the vascular system thanks to these very prominent veins of mine.
  • Eating: I never expected to go from kind-of hungry to I’m-about-to-faint-and-start-dry-heaving starving in less than 2 minutes. Flat.
  • 3rd trimester stomach: I feel like it has the capacity of a walnut thanks to baby’s rear end pushing up on it. Same thing goes for the bladder.
  • My body in the mornings: I can’t decide if my body feels like I’ve been hit by a bus, or if I feel like I am 92 years old.  I guess either will work.
  • How good a warm bath feels. Seriously. Soaks those aches and pains away better than anything else- except for maybe a good massage from the hubby.
  • Sore feet: My heels started to feel bruised after week 30 or so.  Tennis shoes with a night gown- a pregnant woman’s guide to home fashion.
  • Speaking of home fashion- my hubby’s stock of boxers and t-shirts have long since been claimed by yours truly. I have no problem what-so-ever with whipping out my cat claws if he tries to come near them to get them back. Reeoow!
  • Moods! Wow. I must say that I had a few you-tube worthy mood swings in my 1st trimester, though thankfully they pretty much disappeared thereafter.
  • Feeling baby move: Beginning with the earliest 2nd trimester flutters, which changed to late 2nd trimester punches and jabs, which finally settled into alien-in-my-belly squirming as his space to move quickly ran out.
  • Energy drain: I’ve almost forgotten what it feels like to have all my energy to myself. It’s the first time in my life that I’ve ever fallen short of the hyperactive criteria.

Updates- with pictures

I couldn’t resist putting together some of his outfits. Here are the pictures:

Click to play this Smilebox slideshow: Nathan's outfits
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Be sure to check out the Nursery In Progress page as well. I updated some pictures of it. I still have to tidy it up, organize it, and find some curtains. Other than that, the nursery is pretty much done.

Just another day…

Things have been going pretty well this week so far. The pain/pressure is getting worse, but we knew it would and I’ve been dealing with it just fine.   Nathan’s womb is about the size of a watermelon and stretches all the way up to my ribs.  Things are getting kind of tight in there so I’ve been feeling more squirming and moving than pokes and jabs.  The one exception is under my ribs, especially the right side, where he likes to park his not-so-little toes. After a fair amount of stretching and pushing down on his feet, I can usually coax him to move his feet or at least change his position for me.

Yesterday “the ladies” as I like to call them came over to finish painting the nursery.  They did a wonderful job and it looks fabulous.  Now all I have to do is find some curtains and put everything in its place. I will post some pictures as soon as it is all together.  They then treated us to up-scaled Chinese take-out from one of our favorite restaurants.  It was a wonderful night indeed.

This afternoon I went and got a few more newborn socks for him to bring to the hospital with me.  C and I went north of Cinci for lunch, then I decided I really (really) wanted KFC mashed potatoes, so we went there instead.

(I still can’t find a nightgown that is compatible with post-surgery nursing…mental note: look online for one).

I also treated myself to a few new books at the local book store and a decaf frozen coffee blend (yum).  I’ve been in the habit of reading a little before bed and find that it relaxes me and helps me sleep better at night.  I’ve been looking for a “baby’s first year” type of book to buy.  I’ve reviewed several, but eventually I settled on the one by Sears & Sears.  I already have their breastfeeding book, and liked the overall tone/layout/organization, so I think that their “baby bible” will be just as useful.

I have my 35-week sonogram/OB appointment later this week.  The contractions have been calm lately, so I’m hoping I’ll be able to delay his birth for at least 2-4 weeks.

I still have Lucy (Ms. Tibby) as a foster kitten.  She’s definitely a mommy’s girl.  Yesterday a 4-week old abandoned kitten was dropped off at my friend’s, so I have him as well.  He needs bottle feeding every 3-5 hours around the clock and he’s huge!  I’ve been calling him Chunky Monkey.  He’s as squat as a toad and it never phases him when Ms. Tibby (4 weeks his senior) tackles him from the side.

Chunky Monkey 4wks

Chunky Monkey 4wks

Packing The Bag

My 34 week OB appointment went well.  He said I am doing fine with weight gain just drinking ensure.  I keep getting sick when I eat solid food so I’m pretty much on a liquid/soft diet until the birth.  Speaking of, the OB said that he’s not planning on intervening with my contractions between weeks 36-38.  I can basically give birth after 14 days from now.  (So nervous!)

For the life of me I cannot imagine holding a soft, warm little baby in my arms so soon. I keep wondering what he’ll look and feel like but I just can’t envision it yet.

Nathan got a perfect score on his bio-physical profile sonogram.  His activity, growth, fluids, heart beat, organs, and umbilical cord could not be any better.  I’m proud of him. 🙂 I have another sonogram next week.  He should be around 6 pounds by then.  He’s a big, healthy boy!

I’ve started to put together what I think I will bring to the hospital.  Im not sure how big he will be so I’m bringing both newborn and preemie clothes.  I’m also bringing plenty of hats, socks, a few body suits with pants, and some receiving blankets as well.  I am planning on asking some other moms what I will need to bring.

A lady on craigslist has a ton of cute boy clothes that I am going to go pick up today.  She’s asking $1-2 for each.  I’m all about saving money by buying second hand clothes for him, esp since he’ll only be wearing them for a few months at a time.

The worst pain ever

Last night I had a bout of the worst pain ever.  My pouch was seriously cramping down hard and my lovely uterus decided to add insult to injury by choosing to go into a series of big contractions. My body also started involuntarily bearing down.  I started to bleed.  I ripped open the tender fissures I had and felt some scar tissue tearing.  All the pressure combined made me feel like my coccyx (tailbone) was being fractured.  I screamed bloody murder from the pain and C came running in to see what the utter mayhem was about.  I started shaking uncontrollably and my jaw shivered before clamping shut on me (typical severe pain reaction of mine).  I felt waves of nausea and started heaving on an empty belly. The cramping and pain continued.  The screaming changed to wailing and then I lost my voice. I eventually ended up on the floor because I was starting to black out.  I reached down to make sure there wasn’t a baby coming out and was relieved to find that there was not.

The whole incident lasted about 15 minutes before a hot bath soak and the medicine prescribed for pain started to kick in.  It left me feeling utterly exhausted, emotionally spent, and deeply grateful that C was there to comfort me.

Seriously- he was amazing.  He fetched the medicine and water, and drew me a bath to help the pain ease up a little.  He gave me his shoulder to cry on during the worst of it.  He helped me out of the tub once the pain began to subside and gently tucked me in bed.  He told me to stay in bed and that he would fetch whatever I needed.  He then laid down and snuggled with me. I focused on his body heat as the pain slowly got less and less until I was finally able to drift off to sleep.

A Shiva baby?

I don’t understand how this baby is packaged in there.  I keep feeling bumps and rubs in places that defy explanation.  If he had an extra leg or two, it would all make sense, but he doesn’t.  Sometimes I can feel the obvious “rump bump” and can then deduce the other bumps from there, but still- it’s weird.

My baby bump is tucked in rather tightly.  Baby has grown enough to fill every crevice of my abdomen and pelvic cavity, and is currently trying to invade my lower chest area.  He is quite capable of kicking an object on my belly with impressive accuracy.  I’m proud of my little guy.

Thinking about life with our little one

We have pretty much worked out our post-natal plans.  We are having C’s mom up for about 3 weeks or until I am able to manage the baby and household alone.  C will take off a few days around the time of the birth and his homecoming, then return to work.  When C’s mom leaves, he will take his official paternity leave and stay home for 1-2 weeks.  It is important to us that we have plenty of time alone after I’ve recovered from the c-section to bond with our new baby.

Lately our focus has been shifting from the pregnancy to that of our soon-to-be newborn.  It has been a rough pregnancy, so we’ve really been focused on getting through each and every day.  Now, however, we are starting to share our fears, excitement, and anticipation of life as parents and as a married couple.

We talk about issues we may have with me being his primary caretaker all night and day until C gets home in the evenings from work.  We have already delegated that it is only fair that C sleep all night because he has to meet the demands of his work.  Besides, there is no point in both of us being awake all night especially if I am the only one who can nurse him.

We are starting to think of life with our little one. Will I want to pass the baby to C so I can get things done or just take a break?  How will we share responsibilities in the evenings during the work week as opposed to the weekends?  One thing that we have decided on is that C will wake up a little earlier than usual to give me an extra hour or two to sleep in or just to get ready for the day.  I must say that I am really looking forward to that. 🙂 I think he would enjoy that time alone with him as well.

We wonder how we will make time for each other, especially with me breastfeeding.  I have heard stories of babies taking in cluster feedings where they nurse for 45 minutes, doze off for an hour, and wake up to nurse again for another 45 minutes.  No matter what C and I are doing, I will have to report to the call of duty when my girls are called upon.

It will be an adjustment for sure, but we are ok with that. I think it’s normal for first-time parents to be nervous.  I am a perfectionist, and C takes the laid-back approach to life, so I think between the two of us we will get through whatever comes our way- poopy diapers and all. 🙂

Just an update

I can’t believe I only have 3-5 weeks left until he arrives! I’m getting very excited. I am still pretty much on bed rest all day. I haven’t had much of an appetite lately so I’ve been drinking lots of ensure plus drinks to make sure I’m meeting everyone’s nutritional needs.

I have been gaining weight fine though. I have gained 16 pounds so far and I am hoping to make it to 20-25 pounds by the end of the pregnancy. Everyone still gives me a ‘hard time’ about being ‘so tiny’ even though I feel huge! While waiting for my appointment, a group of women waiting for their sonogram asked me if I knew what I was having yet- (you find out between 16-20 weeks). The pregnant woman who asked me was 20 weeks and we were about the same size. I replied simply that we are having a little boy. She went on to ask me when I am due- I told her in about 3-5 weeks. Everyone (EVERYONE) looked down and gasped at my belly. I immediately felt self-conscious and explained that the baby is right on track and the reason I’m small is because I am carrying him toward my back, leaving me with a smaller profile.
The same thing happened at our support group meeting. There was another woman there 6 weeks ahead of me and she was carrying much further out than me. She good-naturedly joked about our respective sizes.  Another person said that she looked like me after eating a large meal. I haven’t quite figured out how to handle such incidences because I keep feeling self-conscious about it, so I just smiled and went along with it.  Whatever works 🙂 All that matters is that he is healthy. I don’t care how big or small I am.

A few ladies are coming over this afternoon to paint the nursery for me.  They are a hoot to hang out with so I am really looking forward to their company.  I will be excited to see how the nursery looks once all the painting is done. Plus- they’re treating me to my favorite take-out.  Good food and good friends, what more could a pregnant lady ask for? 🙂

A friend of mine sent me a TON of books to read on pregnancy as well as a sanitized breast pump to try and a few CD’s to watch.  She has twin girls, so the pregnancy books are for multiples.  However, one book by Dr. Barbara Luke is AWESOME.  It is almost conversational as it goes over issues that I am currently dealing with such as bed rest and gaining enough weight.  I quickly read through the entire book and plan on referring to it as needed.

The book offers emotional support.  One of the biggest emotional issues that I have been dealing with is feeling like an imbecile the entire pregnancy due to not being able to take on my usual responsibilities.  While C has told me (repeatedly) that I AM busy- growing a baby that is- the term simply does not do much to reassure me.  My thinking is that my body will “grow a baby” regardless.   It just sounds too passive to me. The book however encourages moms-to-be to think instead of pregnancy as gestating.  Gestating encompasses doing everything I can to grow the healthiest baby I can and to carry him to term.  I am the only person who can do this for him. It is an active process, and I am soothed by that line of thinking.

My OB appointment went very well. We are already thinking of birth control methods for after he is born.  I do not do well with BC pills. I want my baby-shop closed for business, so we asked about tubal ligation.  Tubal ligation is normally done at the time of the c-section since they are already in the area.  My OB suggested that I wait until after the birth.  He suggested a new tubal ligation type of technique that can be done a few months after the birth.  They do not operate but instead go through the cervix and insert something into the tubes to prevent the little tadpole rascals from putting me back into my current predicament. He asked me if I am planning to breastfeed, and I told him I am. He reassured me that exclusively breastfeeding until the procedure can be done should protect me from pregnancy.  He also mentioned absenence- but C didn’t exactly go for it.

I had another bio-physical profile sonogram and will have one every week until the birth. Nathan now weighs about 5 pounds and is doing great.  We got to watch him as he pursed his lips out and yawned.  He looks EXACTLY like C in the profile view- you can mark my words and take up bets that this boy will look just like his dad.

So anyhow, just wanted to post a little update.  I am about to grab a bite to eat and get back to gestating (ie- sitting on the couch working on my computer). 🙂

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