seriously this boy of ours is so amazing! He has the BEST personality. Since birth, he never cried except for when he is hungry, dirty, or is not feeling well. I can count on one hand how often he has been sick. So he is almost always a complete joy to be around. (His birthday weekend was an exception, for he was sick AND out of his routine- not a good combination! More about that in a later post). He flirts and smiles at everyone everywhere we go. On the airplane South for his birthday, he stood so he could look over the back of our seats and smiled, giggled, and said “HIIII!” to the folks behind us. If I had a nickel for every smile he created in those around him, I would be set for life. He can charm the spots right off of a dog, that boy.
Last night, he was absolutely hilarious as he played and was being so goofy. He squealed and laughed brought his toys over to us. He kept getting into things and we caught him, he would laugh and try to speed-crawl away as if he wanted to play a silly game of chase.
Yesterday, he held on to my finger and we walked together into the local bookstore with a cafe. Every single person there turned to look at him and smiled. He pointed, flirted, smiled, and laughed at all of the folks. I was so proud of him, this baby boy of mine.
C confided that he is worried that his personality will change for the worse as he gets more independent and approaches the terrible twos stage. I told him that whenever a child is loved right, that the love will always bring out the best in them.
Anyhow, this child can make my heart melt. We are very lucky indeed!
I *finally* got to talk to my mom’s husband. My step-father is probably one of the most gentle, loving souls that has ever walked this earth. However, he is now remarried and it is just weird. I am very, very happy for him and I know that my mom specifically mentioned wanting him to remarry. Still, I keep pondering the subject and really wishing I could talk to my mom about what all of these changes mean.
I mean, when they married, she moved into his homestead home on a street where all of his family members live. So it most definitely feels like my step-fathers home although all of her things were moved into it. All of those “things” also made it into my home. Now that he is married, I can’t help but to wonder if my moms things are still there or if they’ve been removed. If I visit him, I know I am probably not welcomed to spend the night or at least it would be strange if his deceased wife’s daughter stayed in his new wife’s home. It’s just weird.
I *really* wish I could talk to my mom about this. I would ask her what kind of relationship I am to have with my step-father and his new wife? Is he still my son’s gradfather even though my mom passed away right before his birth? So many questions. Hopefully I’ll figure it all out soon. It has been really bothering me. One thing is for sure, and that is that I love him as if he were a real father to me. His gentleness and kindness toward me over the years meant the absolute world to me. While I was dating in college, my mom encouraged me to find a good man like my stepfather, and this advice is one of the main reasons that I am married to C today.
In a few days it will be the one-year anniversary of my Mother’s death. I have been feeling very emotional and as a result I have been doing everything I can to get my mind off of it. I have been tackling major house projects such as revamping my closet and completely re-doing the family room to convert it into a playroom for Nathan. I have also been dwelling on planning his party and tackling the difficult task of planning it several states away.
My closet has been a complete mess for the better part of a year. I had lots of my Mom’s clothes hanging in it along with some of her bags and purses. At one time they were comforting to me, but now they do not even smell like her house anymore and make me feel more sad than comforted. Plus, I had no idea what to do with them. It got to the point to where I hated opening my closet only to be reminded me that she is gone. So this weekend, through tears, I finally removed the last of her things and reclaimed my space.
She is still listed as a contact on my phone. Her glasses still sit on a shelf in my room. I have realized that holding on to every little thing of hers in a vain attempt to keep her close to me has prevented me from letter her go. I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that letting her go doesn’t mean that I am forgetting her in any shape or form, but that by focusing on insignificant objects, I am preventing myself from celebrating a lifetime with her. The best way I can honor her, as counterintuitive as it seems, is to go on living my life with as much happiness as I can. I know she would want that, and no matter how much it hurts, I embrace each day during this emotional time with the joy she would want me to feel.
My neighbor invited Nathan and I to join her and her two boys at the park. The park is awesome because it has play sets for every age and a rubber chip mat underneath it so that falls will not hurt the little ones. It is stationed on top of a small mountain with a gorgeous view of fall trees in the valley beyond it.
We had the BEST time in the beautiful fall mountains in the gorgeous fall weather. I met another mom who had just adopted a second child only a few weeks prior from China. One mom with three boys had a one-year old son who’s birthday was the same as Nathan’s. Another mom had twin boys. It was so nice to get out and talk to other women for a change.
My neighbor’s older son played together with Nathan. I really enjoyed getting to hold and play with her 7-month old baby boy. We stayed for a few hours until Nathan was about to fall asleep in the swing. I went to the grocery store after leaving the park and Nathan took his afternoon nap right when we got home.
Due to my standing weekly appointments, and end-of-the-week list of absolutely essential errands to run, we have decided to place Nathan in the nursery for one day a week. It gives my baby a chance to experience being around other kids, and since he is a social butterfly without a shy bone in him, the Nursery solution was officially commenced today!
After a little research, I found a very nice preschool nursery who had their own classroom for 12-24 month old babies. They teach sign language, expose them to computers/technology, and they even have a library bus come by for them to pick out their own books to take home for the week! I went for a visit to tour the school and their programs, while Nathan got to play a little outside with the other babies. They sent me home with no small stack of endless paperwork to fill out, which I did to return to them later, which I also did. So today, with a heavy, slightly guilty heart, I dropped off my baby boy for his very first day at the Nursery.
Later on that day, since I was a neurotic first-time mom just happened to be driving by, I stopped by to take a quick peek (and picture) of my baby boy’s first day there:
Here is a picture of the class having snack time. I hid behind the door and snapped pictures while observing Nathan, who had no idea I was even there. (The director recommended that I not let him see me so that I wouldn’t disturb their routine).
To the right is part of the 1-year old classroom. They have different stations for various activities by subject. They have a science corner with a class fish, sand box, and other things. A creative area with music, make-believe play. A reading area with books. And a technology area with computer keyboards for them to play with.
When it was time to pick Nathan up at the nursery, all of the babies were having outside time.
Nathan was happy to see his mommy!!!
Nathan will be going every Friday to the nursery. His teachers all have said that he is a very happy, sociable boy and that he behaves better than most of their regulars. The only issue he has is when it comes to nap time. He doesn’t understand yet that he has to stay on his “cot” bed and take his nap. I think I will start working on him at home to help him understand the concept. I did notice that he was very tired when I got him home. He had a busy, fun day. 🙂
Ever since having a child of my own, I am especially driven to make our home festive and magical for all major holidays. Fall is a favorite holiday and so I decided to decorate our front door with a gigantic 5′ scarecrow and other fall-like displays:
While my decorations are not worthy of any Southern Living magazine feature, I am nevertheless quite tickled with how it turned out. It did not cost much, take much effort, nor did it require me to use up any valuable brain space otherwise occupied with the other five bazillion things on my typical mommy brain. On the bottom right, I took down an old vine plant and twisted it around my railing. For Halloween, I will put fake spiders’ webbing and equally fake plastic replicas of little (or giant???) 8-legged sources of my nightmares on it.
I like where I placed my scarecrow, whom we have affectionately named “Budreaux” because the side light keeps him visible even at night. Budreaux was obtained at a hefty, wallet-breaking cost of $2.99. I combined a coupon with a sale and the big guy was officially welcomed into our household. 🙂
Ugh….by the way, the cooling weather has caused our old, cranky cat to perpetually nag us for a chance to warm her aching, cold, paws on our jugular, no less. Which would be totally fine except for that, 1- we happen to need the blood going to our brains, and 2- her breath smells two notches above that of something long since dead on the side of the road.