Just another mom blog…

For this child, I have prayed. (Samuel 1:27)

Changing times…

I *finally* got to talk to my mom’s husband.  My step-father is probably one of the most gentle, loving souls that has ever walked this earth.  However, he is now remarried and it is just weird.  I am very, very happy for him and I know that my mom specifically mentioned wanting him to remarry. Still, I keep pondering the subject and really wishing I could talk to my mom about what all of these changes mean.

I mean, when they married, she moved into his homestead home on a street where all of his family members live.  So it most definitely feels like my step-fathers home although all of her things were moved into it.  All of those “things” also made it into my home. Now that he is married, I can’t help but to wonder if my moms things are still there or if they’ve been removed.  If I visit him, I know I am probably not welcomed to spend the night or at least it would be strange if his deceased wife’s daughter stayed in his new wife’s home.  It’s just weird.

I *really* wish I could talk to my mom about this.  I would ask her what kind of relationship I am to have with my step-father and his new wife?  Is he still my son’s gradfather even though my mom passed away right before his birth? So many questions.  Hopefully I’ll figure it all out soon.  It has been really bothering me.  One thing is for sure, and that is that I love him as if he were a real father to me.  His gentleness and kindness toward me over the years meant the absolute world to me.  While I was dating in college, my mom encouraged me to find a good man like my stepfather, and this advice is one of the main reasons that I am married to C today.

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One thought on “Changing times…

  1. Follow your heart…your mom is IN you. Your stepfather will be to Nathan whatever you make him. And, for that matter, his new wife could be a wonderful grandmother-type?? I spend lots of time trying to ‘figure things out’…and in the end…I knew the answer all along. You are a GREAT woman, with a BIG heart, and good head on your shoulders. Your mom IS talking to you…just the fact that you are asking questions means she’s whispering in your ear. I feel your mom (here I am talking as if I know her) would want you to continue to spread your love and Nathan’s love to the people she loved. I don’t think yours or her kindness knows any boundaries. That’s a wonderful quality to have. Fight the weirdness with love. xoxox. Thinking of you. m

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