A million ways
I once read a quote that I really loved about motherhood. It went something like this:
There is no one way to be a perfect mother, but there are a million ways to be a good one.
I really like it because it allows for some breathing room regarding mothering styles and perfectionism. There are endless combinations of personalities between mothers and their children, and these combinations have different circumstances which end up shaping parenting styles. There is no right or wrong way to do things and babies and children can and will thrive under a wide variety of mothering styles.
I am saying this because I sometimes wish I could be a better mom. For instance, I would give my left kidney to be a morning person. I wish I could just be one of those people who wakes up at the crack of dawn and cooks a big breakfast while getting a head start on the chores and errands for the day. I’ve tried so hard to morph into this person. I have tried going to bed early, changes in diet, bedtime routines, and everything else. But for the love of everything good I just cannot be a morning person. Every. Single. Morning that I open my eyes, it takes me a full half-hour to convince myself that I need to get up and get going. Convincing myself to get out of bed for me is like another person trying to convince themselves to jump into an icy cold pool when they are already cold. There is nothing pleasant about mornings to me.
Then I realize that I cannot be a better mom, maybe a different mom, but there is no “better” mom than I already am. Nathan is thriving, healthy, happy, and well-adjusted and it is because whatever I am doing is working just fine. We make a good team, my son and I do. So when I find myself wishing that I could be different, I will just take a moment to look at my boy. I can see with my own eyes that I am a good mom, even if I never grow a love for mornings.