Our Home is our Sanctuary
Tuesday morning the church that I have been going to held their bi-monthly moms’ group meeting. It is a group for moms and we do crafts for one meeting, then we alternate and do bible study as it relates to rearing children, being a woman and a wife, and keeping a Godly home. I really enjoy this group.
I arrived there and dropped Nathan off in the church’s daycare nursery, then headed into the room where the meeting is held. I was really excited to see all of my new mom friends and even met another mom who is from Hattiesburg, Mississippi, where I lived during college.
This meeting was a bible study about creating a safe, secure home away from the chaos of the world and also thinking of the home as a training ground for preparing children for their eventual flight from the nest as young adults. I had honestly never thought of my home like that. We considered the hard questions:
- When we (parents and children) arrive home, do we feel a sense of relief, peace, warmth, security, and loved?
- If not, what in our home environment is keeping us from allowing our home to be our sanctuary?
I was reminded of my duty to create a sanctuary for my husband. For him personally, that means keeping the house clean, welcoming him home with a hug, managing our food and meals. The part that was a new revelation to me is that prior to this meeting, I always thought that how clean our home is or how many times a week I cook is really up to my personal preferences, and if he complained then I just needed to step it up a notch for a little while. This is because what I was doing at home worked for me and was enough to make my home my sanctuary. I thought that if it is good enough for me, then it should be good enough for him, right?
Wrong. Here’s why:
I realized that this is his home too and that I have a duty, out of love and respect, to fulfill his criteria of a home sanctuary. It is what makes him feel at peace while he is in our home, and it is part of our marriage vows and my duty as his wife that I do this for him.
For Nathan, and for most children, it means that I provide a calm, loving environment with predictability and consistency in our home. It is my duty as a parent to do this for him. Whatever kind of home I provide for him is what he will use later on to define his criteria for his personal home sanctuary. Everything will be relative to his experience growing up here. He may say that he wants his future home to have more/less animals, be more/less clean, have more/less cooked meals, and so forth.
Why is this fact so important? Because the home I provide for him, since it will define his future notion of what he wants his home to be like, also directly impacts the kind of qualities in a wife he will look for and thus the kind of home my grandchildren will grow up in.
Yeah, I know, that’s pretty deep for someone with a bad case of mommy brain like myself. But it is true and this knowledge has instilled in me a deeper sense of how important it is to create a loving, warm home for my husband and son. 🙂