Cat’s and Two Year Olds
My son’s behavior is rapidly becoming more and more illogical as we approach the start of year two. Since his earliest signs of the approaching dreaded milestone, I have pondered this strange phenomenon. Take yesterday for example. He was happily playing outside on the porch, dividing his time between smearing ketchup all over his kiddie table and tossing every. Single. Toy. over the railing for me to fetch later. Fine with me. I was busy on the other side of the door inside doing coupon research. Then he plastered himself to the glass door and protested his desire to enter the house. I got up to open the door and he ran away from it. Oh ok, well I guess he wants to stay outside a little longer. Great! Back to research.Mental note: clean ketchup fingerprints off of the door later.
I kid you not, he immediately ran up to the glass door and started fussing to come back inside again. Confused, I got back up and opened the door for him. Again, he ran away angrily and refused to come near me. What the hey? Then it hit me: a two year old is just like a cat! What would a cat owner do to get a cat inside? Open the door and walk away while pretending you never intended to leave the door open. So, I (oops!) left the door open and went back to my computer. I sat down and waited. He peeked through the glass to make double sure that I had no contribution to his decision to enter the house. Lo and behold, the child entered the house and was all smiles.
Yes indeedy, cat’s and two year old minds are one and the same.
There are more examples of this:
- Neither cats nor toddlers will eat if you are standing there.
- They will not take anything out of your hands unless they are really starving or dying of thirst. Your best bet is to put it on the floor and walk away. I’ll be darned if they don’t go right to it.
- If food has been out for them for more than 2 minutes, they want a new batch.
- They only approach and harass you to no end when you are sitting down and trying to relax. They are very cunning about this. They know.
- They insist on having an opposite sleep schedule as you.
- They always want what you are eating, but when you offer it they refuse to eat it. (Then beg for more).
- If you go to catch them, they will run away. You can count on this.
- Their favorite game is to wake you up, just for the joy of it.
- They insist on releasing their gas as close as humanly possible to your nose.
- They will decide when they are ready to leave the room, thankyouverymuch. If you try to force them, they will make it their personal mission to make it impossible to catch them.
- They’re moody. Really moody. Illogically, irrevocably moody. And they expect you to know precisely why they are in this bad mood.
- Lastly, they both look like little angels when they are sleeping. Only you and I know that they are sweet little utterly confusing devils in disguise, and our world is a million times better with them in it.