Thoughts & Life
The older I get, the more I realize just how important it is for us to all know ourselves. I also have realized how few people really know the answers to who they are, myself included.
I know for a fact that I belong to a group of people called ‘experiencers.” I do not know what else I am, but that much is true. Experiencers are the kinds of people who will take you up on your offer to go back pack across Europe one summer in college on a whim. They live to try new foods, travel, interact with various cultures and so forth. They tend to suffocate and end up depressed if they live in small towns or very conservative areas. They tend to love to read because it is an outlet for experiencing new things even if it is only in their minds. They embrace fear much like a cat who is curious. They tend to be innovative and enjoy the journey more than the destination and believe that there is no “right way” to do things as long as the end product is the same. The key to their happiness is to take regular breaks to experience new things, and if they live in small towns/conservative cultures then they need to travel away from there frequently to fulfill their need to experience new events.
Too many people try to change who they are inside and with disastrous results. People need to sit back, figure who they are, and embrace it and I strongly believe they will be happier because of it.
I’m married to the exact opposite. C belongs to a group of people who I can traditionalists. Traditionalist live to uphold rules, routines, and tradition. They thrive on routines and need to function under set rules to guide them through work, home life, and other areas. They believe that there is a “right way” to do everything and do no like to stray from it. They tend to hate change and if change is inevitable, they must be allowed to slowly warm up to the idea. They happy to do the same things as they always have instead of trying new things. They tend to be fear-guided when it comes to the unknown, and thus stick to what they know. They thrive in small town lifestyles and conservative areas. Their strength is that they have impeccable integrity. They make up for lack of innovativeness by making sure they know all the right steps ahead of time and follow those steps exactly. You can always count on them to get things done.
Traditionalist and experiencers compliment each other very well. The traditionalist helps keep the experiencer grounded, and the experiencer pulls the traditionalist outside of their comfort zones so that they experiences life more. However, it is crucial that these two opposites understand and work with each others strengths and weaknesses and never try to change the core of the other person.
My son, from what I have seen so far, is a traditionalist. Even as young as a year old, he has his routines and makes sure he does things the ‘right way.’ For example, he has to rearrange his bedding just so and he has his routines and will get very upset if anything changes. He doesn’t like to try new things and prefers to stay in his comfort zone. It takes a lot to help him warm up to the idea of change. Whenever he does anything, he makes sure he finishes it completely before moving on to the next thing.
What about you? Have you ever thought about who you are and how it affects your relationships?