A lot of things have been happening lately since I found out that a pregnancy had ended. Before the weekend I took a test just to make sure my pregnancy hormones had gone back down. It was a very dark positive result.
It turns out that I had conceived multiples. The “one” that implanted first and gave me the initial positive result did not make it. I miscarried. My beta HCG blood test that day was only 17. The second one was just starting to implant. Two and a half days later my blood pregnancy test increased to 66. Things were looking really good. I had one more test on Sunday. Monday morning, my doctor emailed me to tell me that she is pretty sure the pregnancy was escopic (implanted outside of the uterus). I was instructed to stop all pregnancy-sustaining medications.
I have already started having some serious cramping so I think I may already be starting the process of losing the pregnancy.
So many people were praying for this little bean to keep growing. It means the world to C and I and we thank you. I honestly have no clue what the future holds in terms of having our child. This was my 6th (or was it 7th? I can’t remember) loss with all but two being consecutive. I don’t know when we will call it quits. I do know that if I had to go through a dozen losses to have Nathan over again, I totally would. There is just no way of knowing if I will ever be able to carry a pregnancy. I did read about a woman who had 18 losses in a row before having her daughter. Hats off to her- but I’m simply not going to do that (thought the baby is wicked cute). I have read of several women having half a dozen in a row before carrying the next one to term. I may try a few more times, but it really all depends on what the doctor says.
Shall update later.