The other day, out of the blue, C looked into my eyes and said, “I really hope we have another child soon.”
To be honest, I am terrified of going through hyperemesis (HG) again. With Nathan, by the time we realized what was going on, I was already too weak to think clearly and had no choice but to just get through it one hour at a time. For those of you who are not familiar with HG, it is NOT your usual morning sickness. Have you ever had a really bad stomach virus where you vomited at the very thought of any food or fluids hitting your stomach? Its a lot like that, but instead of lasting 24 hours it goes on every hour of every day for MONTHS. Nausea and vomiting during HG is usually made worse not only by trying to swallow anything, but also by ordinary smells, vibrations, changing positions, walking, being touched, wind blowing on your face, and even light. Vomiting blood at some point is not unusual. Basic hygiene goes out of the window. Most HG sufferers quickly figure out some do’s and don’ts to help them cope through the illness.
There were times when I laid on the bathroom floor with painful, pulled abdominal muscles too weak to move. I had painful sores in my mouth from the acid, plus an irregular heart beat which left me honestly wondering if it was possible to die from this (it is). I am not even going to go into the lower GI issues which left me with a total lack of sleep and dignity, nor will I go into the guilt and feelings of worthlessness from being rendered invalid from this horrible condition. So you guys can understand why I find myself fantasizing about skipping the whole pregnancy business and just have a stork drop off our bundle of love instead.
HG aside, I absolutely LOVED being pregnant. There is nothing like feeling your child’s first kicks inside the womb. From the moment I found out I was expecting, my growing baby was always in my thoughts and the love I felt for him is indescribable. I would totally go through HG again one last time to bring a child into the world. However, this time around, I want to go into this armed to the gills with research about my options. Instead of pretending like everything is fine, I will let those around me know when I need their help and support. I want to see a supportive OB who understands day-to-day life with HG. I want to have a PICC line with home IV and nutrition as soon as HG kicks in. While HG pregnancies are not easy for women or the loved ones around them, it certainly makes the birth of the baby seem even more special and rewarding. Having Nathan around will help to remind us that at the end of the tunnel there will be another child who we will love beyond words like we do with Nathan.
Anyhow, I have no clue if or when we’ll consider trying for a baby. C, myself, and even Nathan certainly feel in our hearts that we would be overjoyed with having a baby. I am hoping that God will bless us when he sees fit, or else put the next steps on our hearts when the time is right.