Just another mom blog…

For this child, I have prayed. (Samuel 1:27)

Archive for the month “January, 2013”

Round 2, The things I’ve learned…

I was just thinking today about how different it is to become a mom the second time around. Here are some of the things I’ve learned:

  1. Babies are not as physically fragile as we think they are. Having a rambunctious toddler around proved this to be a fact pretty darn quickly. (Moms of boys, please point out to Older Brother that Little Brother is not yet old enough to play catch).
  2. Nursing is way easier the second time around. Actually, just about all of baby care is easier. I think it has to do with simply having some experience and thus confidence that we lack with the first one.
  3. You need way less than you think you do. With the first, I was obsessed with collecting everything we’d need for the first 20 years of that child’s life. I now know that baby clothes are indeed washable so you do not need 50 items of clothing per size. Secondly, you are in fact mobile and able to leave the house (and will probably want to) as soon as 4 weeks with baby should you need to purchase something else for the baby. Seriously, new moms- don’t over buy. It’s smarter to wait.
  4. I savor each moment of development. With my first, I wanted to rush him so that I could experience the next stage of development. In the beginning, I wondered if he would ever let me put him down. Then he started crawling and would never let me hold or snuggle him much at all ever again. I know this now. I make it a point to savor each minute he is nursing (even at 2am), to kiss his little cheeks as often as humanly possible, and snuggle with him as if my life depends on it. I finally understand the meaning of, “They are only little once. Enjoy it while you can.” It’s so true!
  5. I’m much more relaxed. It is not the end of the world if he fusses for 2.5 seconds while I grab some water before settling down to nurse, I know he’ll stop fussing the instant he sees the boob. No worries there. He also gets his quick baths with me (see #1 above) and actually loves it. I put him on my lap, wash his hair, spray him down with a little mild soapy water, then submerge his freshly washed newborn chub under the water up to his chest until he is squeaky clean. Then I hand him off to dad and enjoy my bath. Easy-peasy.
  6. The love really does multiply, but your attention is divided. This is a hard fact that I had to learn to accept. Loving both of them the same makes it hard to face, but these itsy bitsy ones simply have to come first most of the time. So I try to balance things out by first taking care of the littlest loudest protesting one and then make it a point to focus on Big Brother immediately afterwards. I tell him I love him a million times, sneak hugs, steal kisses, and talk to him as much as possible. Just whatever it takes to make sure he still feels loved and not left out of things. (Playing a game of catch with a soft toy is a great game to play with Big Sibling while nursing, by the way).
  7. “Sleep when your baby sleeps” doesn’t really apply to round two, unless you want to wake up to your walls covered in sharpy marker ‘art’ by your three year old. Instead, the new motto is, “Pray like crazy that those two will fall asleep, and stay asleep, at the same time.” I am still in the newborn phase, so I can’t speak for older children, but at this time I am still crazy tired during the day. This is supposed to get better as baby sleeps more at night. In the meantime, I’m just grabbing on to Motherhood and holding on for dear life. I’ve reduced my supermom standards to A: Keeping both kids alive, fed, and (mostly) dressed (does it have to match?). B: Managing the house enough so that we all have at least one pair of clean underwear available, something edible to eat at dinner time, and keep the floors picked up enough to prevent major accidents from falling or worse, stepping on a lego (ouch). Everything else can wait.
  8. Baby #2 will mostly fit into Big Sibling’s daily routine/schedule, so make sure you like the routine that the first child is in. Seems simple enough, but I def recommend putting some serious thought into this. The exception is nap time.  If child #1 sleeps in the middle of the day, and baby naps each morning and early evening, then you are not going to be able to get much done without having to tote around at least one seriously cranky, overtired child. Consider moving big sibling’s nap to morning or early evening so that it increases the chance of both being asleep at the same time.
  9. Team work with the spouse is more important than ever before. Sure there are single parents out there who have no choice but to do this child rearing thing completely on their own, and someone really rich (Hellooo Mr. Gates) needs to send them all on a childless cruise for a week for their efforts. But I never intended to be a single mom and I’m not shy about asking for help from the hubs. My philosophy is that women are no different from men (aside from the obvious), this means that men are perfectly capable of changing a diaper at 2am, giving a child a bath, and nursing the baby every 3 hours around the clock. Ok, maybe not nursing, but they can definitely do just about anything else the kiddos require. The hubs and I are still figuring the details out, but we are both contributing as much as we can to get the 1,001 things that needs to be done each day done.
  10. You have about twice as much to do in half the time, but 3 times the joy. I’m mathematically challenged, but here is how I figured that last part. With two children, you have the added joy of the love of a second child, plus the joys of watching your two children interact, then you have the joy of watching your spouse interact with both of them. There is nothing more comforting than knowing that Nathan and Zane will have each other long after C and I are gone. They will be the only two people on this planet who witnesses each others Life Stories from the very beginning. They are brothers, and that is an incredible experience that I am glad they can each experience. I also love watching C navigate the now familiar waters of Fatherhood. I love seeing his confidence as he guides tiny arms through impossibly small sleeves and expertly doges streams of pee that the baby randomly discharges every other time he get’s his diaper changed. Yes, being a mom of two is harder than just having one child, but it is seriously worth every single exhausting minute of the day and night. So if you are wondering if you should have a second child, take the plunge and go for it. You’ll love having the second one just as much as your first, and life will be all the better because of it.

3 Week Photos

DSC_5319 DSC_5316 DSC_5313 DSC_5290DSC_5388 DSC_5363

Zane’s First Real Smiles! (3 weeks, 4 days old)


Zane’s Birth

Howdy! Sorry it has taken my so long to finally get back to posting. My last month of pregnancy was increasingly more difficult for me on a weekly basis. Anyhow…Mr. Benjamin “Zane” arrived on New Years Eve via c-section. The boy weighed a whopping 8 pounds, 9.4 ounces and 20″ long! No wonder I was so miserable! His big brother only weighed 6 pounds, 15 ounces, so the last month of Zane was new territory for my scarred belly in terms of stretching and so forth. Here is a picture a few days before his birth:


Zane arrived two weeks early, meaning had I gone another week or two he would have weighed between 9-10 pounds at birth. Regardless, I’m REALLY glad I went the c-section route once I saw my chunk of chub to love. Yes…I did decide to go the section route despite my very strong feelings toward a VBAC. I ended up having to do what was best for the baby and I in the end due to several unforeseen complications that arose. The main issue was that I simply couldn’t stretch much more without seriously risking a mechanical intestinal obstruction. Things were so squished in there that toward the end I had trouble even passing liquids through my squished bowels. Had I suffered an obstruction, the only option would have been to deliver via c-section to relieve the blockage. This would mean a section while vomiting, bloated, suffering severe pain, and possibly losing some more small bowel due to blood supply being cut off.

The other part is that I found out that a VBAC, while they allow it, is different from a regular vaginal birth. I would be required to get an epidural very shortly into labor and also would have to stay in bed to be monitored the whole time.  I didn’t feel like these requirements would give me a very good chance at a successful VBAC.  The third reason I decided to have him early is due to the intensity of the pain I had those last few weeks. It was quickly getting to the point of being unbearable due to the pre-existing nerve damage and issues I have from all of my surgeries. Being in that much pain and discomfort isn’t good for baby or mommy. So a c-section was planned for 38 weeks, 3 days gestation on New Years Eve- a Tax Break baby!

I had a WONDERFUL birth experience. It was 1,010% better than my first birth. We arrived that morning to the hospital a few hours early. I had been on a self-imposed soft then liquid diet for a few days prior to help prevent an illus following the spinal block for surgery, so I was pretty flippin’ hungry pregnant lady. Anyhow, we went back to the pre-surgery waiting room where I met with a parade of doctors and nurses prior to surgery, got set up to monitor my hyper little boy, and had my IV inserted for some much needed fluids.  My OB came in and to my relief she was fully prepared for my surgery. She obviously did her homework because she was able to fill in the anesthesiologist with my health history with impressive detail. I almost could have hugged her right then and there because I knew then that I would be in very good hands.

I also showed her a modified Birth Plan.  I’m not at all a “birth diva” but simply wanted to communicate my preferences so that I can participate as much as possible in the birth, and get off to a good start with my new baby. She took my list I gave her and carefully went over it with me point by point. Among the other items on my list, I wanted a mirror so that I could see him being born. I also wanted to nurse him as soon as possible after birth. I made it a point to state that I absolutely did not want to be separated from my baby after birth involuntarily for any reason.  She honored all of these requests as well as my other ones and it made things go so much better for me. She did an amazing job.

The section went beautifully. Zane was pretty wedged in there so they had to use a forceps to get his noggin out to where they could get him out. They tugged me this way and that as they tried to free him from a very tight space. I saw as they pulled him out and handed him over to be cleaned off and assessed by the pediatrician. He had some fluid that he inhaled and so they had to work with him a little to clear it. However, his apgar score was excellent as he pinked up and cried very quickly for us.  They then weighed him and announced that he weighed a whopping 8 pounds, 9.4 ounces and 20″ long. There was not a single person in the room who could believe that a baby that size came out of my relatively little baby bump, myself included! I actually had to get the interpreter to sign the weight to me a few times because I thought for sure I misunderstood her.

After they sewed me up, they wheeled me with my brand new baby in my arms to recovery. I was bleeding too much, so they ended up massaging my uterus (ouch) and finally ended up giving me something in the IV to slow the bleeding. I was able to nurse my baby. He latched on like a champ! We were all so, so happy to finally meet my precious little boy, and very grateful that he arrived a very healthy child to a healthy mommy. 🙂IMG_4065

IMG_4055  IMG_4061IMG_4219

Anyhow, my recovery was relatively uneventful minus two things. Zane had an elevated jaundice level and had to sit under the bili lights in my room. It was hard to see, however, I swear the boy absolutely loved the warmth he felt under those lights. I did come down with the flu despite vaccination in the hospital but was able to keep nursing him to keep him safe through the nursing antibodies. Everyone in our family came down with it but Zane, so the milk did an excellent job keeping him healthy. On day three I was discharged, and by the end of the week I felt really good despite having the flu and surgery.


I am now two weeks postpartum. I am still very tired and trying to make sure I do not do anything to set my recovery back since I know I am still healing on the inside, but I honestly feel great! This was by far THE easiest surgery I have ever had, and I am really grateful for things to have gone as well as they did. My OB did a fabulous job with the birth. My mom-in-law has been a tremendous blessing as she has been holding down the fort so that I can focus on my recovery, resting, nursing, and taking care of my newborn. I am blessed!

Post Navigation