Me: Nathan, would you like a pop tart?
(Don’t judge- I’m up every few hours nursing.)
N’s reply: A pop tart. A pop tart is like a squared rectangle with four sides. Has four sides, one, two, three, four.
In other words, yes, he wants the pop tart. Sighs. Great, I think to myself, another day in regressionville.
For whatever reason, N has these days where he just seems to regress and acts more (aspergers? SID?) -whatever- than usual. I can see it coming a mile away. He parrots instead of giving me typical responses (like above), sniffs his blanket constantly throughout the day, asks me repeatedly to read his Red Light, Green light book and/or look up his tornado or car wash videos on youtube, and so forth. It’s days like these where I have to make sure I put extra effort into our coping strategies such as counting and telling him exactly what we’re going to do before we do each thing. It’s days like this where I will have to put off washing his hair and may not get to vacuum without him getting overwhelmed and shutting down on me. Meltdowns are to be expected. Going somewhere with him in tow is out of the question on stupid, cotton-picking days like these.
I am hoping that we will get our diagnosis soon so that I will finally get some answers and help on how to help him. I’m researching and educating myself as much as I can but there is only so much I can do. I am not an expert, and I have zero experience with maddeningly brilliant, insanely complex kids like him. I am constantly (constantly, constantly) going over various situations in my head trying to figure out how I could have handled it better, if I missed something at the time, or simply just trying to figure out what is going on in his noggin of his, and always trying to gain insight into how he processes the world around him.
I read an article today.
The article is about how a mother struggled with the sensory processing stuff when her sons were younger. At the end also states that they have aspergers. Anyhow, one of her sons went on to use his strengths and became very successful. It was exactly what I needed to read. I needed a reminder that despite our struggles with this, whatever it is, he has definite strengths and it is my job to help him find his niche in the world where those strengths are celebrated. He is not ordinary, he is extraordinary. Extraordinary kids have extraordinary challenges, but they can also become extraordinarily successful. So empowering.
With that reminder, my day has gone from dreading the hours ahead to staring regressionville in the proverbial eyes and saying,
Bring. It. On.
Supermom with a Superkid.